A powerful Christmas punch

A friend of mine has got a black eye from her 18-month-old son (apparently). It's stopping her from attending all the Christmas parties she'd like to go to as she's worried that people will think, when they see her, that her husband did it. That never even crossed my mind, however, so why on earth should it have crossed hers? Unless of course (and quite obviously, now) he did do it.

On the surface, he seems such a lovely man - even when drunk, all he does is slur his jokes a little and flap his pale, poet's hands... As it happens, I'm seeing him at a Christmas party this week (she's not coming, on account of the eye) and I've decided it's time he was brought to account. After all, she's propped up in bed with a steak on her face while her husband trots all over town, glass in hand. 'Oh, poor X,' I might start, 'Isn't it terrible what your boy Y did to her.' And then, as he nods and bends once more to his

As he nods and bends once more
to his champagne flute – WHACK!