|
The Quay brothers have called their new film The Piano Tuner of Earthquakes. Big mistake. It may well be a masterpiece but I'm sorry, that title is pretentious and whimsical and goes straight into my sin bin, next to The Legend of the Pianist on the Ocean and The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants.
The history of cinema is replete with off-putting titles. Painful experience has taught me that the words "hotel" or "circus" should be approached with caution since they're invariably metaphor alerts.
I'm also allergic to folksy-sounding possessives as in How Green Was My Valley and Our Vines Have Tender Grapes (additional points lost there for use of the word "tender", which brings me out in a rash).
I frown on present participles such as Being Julia or Finding Forrester, though we'll allow Being John Malkovich since the movie actually is
|
|
  |
 |
|
 |
|
Why can’t all movie titles be like Jaws – short and snappy, asks
anne billson |
|
|
|
about being John Malkovich and not just trying to sound important.
Then there are titles I hate simply because they're journalistic nightmares; no matter how many times you write To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar or Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, you always find yourself having to check that dratted punctuation yet again.
My ideal title is short, sharp and memorable. You know where you are with Jaws and The Godfather, while Barfly works unexpectedly well as an adverb. But my current favourite is a Samuel L Jackson thriller, now in post-production, called Snakes on a Plane. How's that for a title! Let us just pray it doesn't turn out to be a metaphor. 
FIRST POSTED FEBRUARY 16, 2006
 Three view: Casanova
Last week: Horror and public safety
The End: film credits explained
|
