The gift that keeps on giving

This new kitten of ours is always up to something. I would say that I trust him about as far as I could throw him, but the fact is I could probably lob his skinny little frame six gardens along - and believe me, I've been giving it strong consideration.

His current favourite activity is wandering around the house finding new places to poop. When we got him home, the very first thing he did was to scamper

out of his carry-cage and lay an ornamental pile of crap before the fireplace. Perhaps it was his idea of a welcome gift.

Since then, he's preferred to seek out spots that are difficult to clean, like under radiators or in between floorboards. In the mornings, he likes to wake me by defecating beside the bed.

The vet says I should catch him in the act and quickly lift him into his litter tray, but how am I supposed to know when he's gearing up to do his business? He doesn't give off any warning signs. One minute he'll be frolicking merrily on the carpet