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When it comes to filth, I’ve cleaned up my act

The other day, a colleague asked me quite casually where I got my porn from.

"What bloody porn?" I demanded incredulously.

But he wasn't fooled by my protestations. He knew that, just like any modern man, I had a thorough and detailed list of pornography sources.

When I was an adolescent I used to go rummaging for porn in the bushes. But the last time I hunted around in the same place all I could find were an empty tube of Pringles and a soggy copy of Metro. Neither of which could offer me even a semblance of erotic gratification. And believe me, I tried.

The fact is that in 2006, the internet has eliminated the need for bush-porn. Whereas it used to be the tawdry little secret of mac-wearing codgers, porn is now just as likely to crop up in conversation as

Porn is absolutely fine to talk about - but not to use, says sam delaney

preferred sandwich fillings or Strictly Come Dancing.

Among perfectly polite blokes, glamour websites and skin flicks are the subject of open debate. In fact, if you don't have any website recommendations or dirty pictures on your phone, you're regarded as a bit of a repressed neurotic.

Men exchange porno knowledge like they swap football facts or golf swing tips. It's not even sexual really. I mean, most of us don't actually 'use' the porn in the biblical sense. That would be a bit weird, wouldn't it?

Ronnie Kray used to tell his mates that having sex with women was "for gays". I wouldn't quite go that far, but using porn in a sexual, as opposed to cultural sense, really isn't on. Not round my way anyway.

Leave that to the bush rummagers, I say.

FIRST POSTED DECEMBER 27, 2006