Turbo Whale Tale on my 911.

My poodle is also flying the flag: not only has she started going regularly to the salon she's also started getting coloured rinses – a show of wealth not seen since the heady days of the Eighties.

I go to bed every night saying: I'm rich. I'm rich. Oh how rich am I! Come on, Gordon. Tax me, baby. Tax me. Bring it on!

There is one area however where I see that massive cuts are imperative and cannot be completed soon enough: the City. Particularly at the large American banks.

And there's one in particular which could do with a major trim - perhaps it should close completely - and that's the large US bank for which my ex-husband works.