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Cruelty to animals? Well, today's gut-busters might hurt their feelings. But if you want to join in the fun, click here.

Last week
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CRIMEWATCH: We can catch these kerb-crawlers bang to right-angles. View here.
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WEEKEND BREAK: Istanbul? Start your stag night as you mean to end it. Click for details. .
NO MORE 4x4s: Join the campaign to ban Chelsea Tractors. See new evidence of environmental damage.
reasons to be cheerful
ONE That Diana concert will make a great advert for the grey workforce
TWO Once convicts are enfranchised, MPs and voters should have more in common
THREE Maybe Goldman Sachs' bonuses will boost the high-street sales figures.