Film review: Sex and the City, California Dreamin', Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, The Chemical Wedding | Arts

Sex and the City

Whether the big screen return of Sex and the City fills you with unbridled glee or a sense of unremitting gloom (and I have to say, I'm in the latter camp), there has been an undeniable fanfare surrounding the whole event. But can this movie ever hope to live up to its unofficial title of 'the most important chick flick ever'? Well, it rather depends on what sort of chick you are. If you were the sort to revel in the televised tales of columnist Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and her cocktail chums - career-gal Miranda, sex-aholic Samantha and prim little Charlotte - well it's chocks away for you: a clattering of high heels, fancy drinks and mucho shagging. There is a plot, too, buried deep in the two-and-a-half hours of this film, and it involves Carrie planning her wedding to Mr Big (Chris Noth), things going wrong and things going right, and a trip to Mexico. But the plot's not really the point here: the point is that, gee, there's nothing so important as your best friends. And shoes. And a walk-in closet. And sex.
15, 148 mins

The Chemical Wedding

Bruce Dickinson - the long-haired, aeroplane-piloting frontman of heavy metal outfit Iron Maiden (sample track: Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter) - here makes his scriptwriting debut with this schlocky, high-camp horror story of meek lecturer Professor Oliver Haddo (Simon Callow) who, thanks to some rogue scientific devilry, is infected with the spirit of famed occultist Aleister Crowley. It's a spirit so vastly removed from Haddo's natural, bumbling academic self that all manner of chaos is sure to ensue. And indeed it does - to a soundtrack composed by Dickinson. Neither the plot nor the music may be your cup of tea - indeed The Chemical Wedding proves more trough than peak - but, thanks largely to its B-movie vibe, it will most likely garner cult status nonetheless.
18, 122 mins

The Air I Breathe

There is a great deal of pretension in this quartet of vignettes, each portraying a different emotion: Happiness, Sorrow, Pleasure and Love. Yet all the airs and graces do not render the film unlikeable. The four segments are loosely threaded by several recurring characters, in the tried and trusted manner of other 'connectivity' movies such as Crash and Babel. We open with Forest Whitaker, giving us 'Happiness' as a downtrodden bank clerk who bets his life savings on a horse race and finds himself entangled with a glowering mobster named Fingers (an exceptional Andy Garcia), and we close with 'Love', as a doctor (Kevin Bacon) tries to rescue the love of his life (Julie Delpy) from a potentially fatal snake-bite. In between, we encounter Sarah Michelle Gellar as a pop star named Sorrow, and Brandon Fraser as a mobster henchman cursed with the gift of premonition who finds 'Pleasure' in an evening when, for once, he can no longer see into the future. It is a carefully - and impressively - tangled web with some magnificent performances, but on occasion the movie's desire to show its bright, shiny cleverness is a little unsettling.
18, 95 mins

Speed Racer

Tatsuo Yoshika's 1960s classic receives a slick remodelling here from Andy and Larry Wachowski, the guys behind The Matrix. Young driver Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) discovers a dastardly race-fixing scheme run by industry moguls Royalton Industries - a company he has recently slighted by refusing a gigantic sponsorship offer so that he can stay driving his spectacular vehicle, the Mach 5. Royalton vow that Speed Racer and the Mach 5 will never race again, and in order to defy them, Speed will have to take part in the dreaded Crucible Race (which claimed the life of his brother Rex many years ago) supported only by his father Pops Racer (John Goodman), his girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) and an unlikely ally in his rival, the mysterious driver X. It's a real feel-good, finely-tuned, swishy blockbuster, with sensational visuals.
PG, 129 mins

Welcome Home, Roscoe Jenkins

The Roscoe Jenkins of this film's title is a talk-show host, and the home in question is the American Deep South - a place Jenkins (Martin Lawrence) fled long ago in search of fame and fortune, and to which he now returns, accompanied by his clutching reality-TV-star fiancee Bianca (Joy Bryant). The formula is predictable: Mr Fancypants returns to his roots and realises that all the plasma TVs and super-fine girlfriends in the world ain't worth nuthin' next to the real honest-to-goodness value of his family (who, like most families, happen to be a big, messy, gold-hearted bunch). Where this film triumphs, though, is in its genuineness - there's a care for detail and compassion rather than cheap gags and stereotypes. And although the film is essentially a showcase for comedic talent (James Earl Jones, Mo'Nique, Nicole Ari Parker and Cedric the Entertainer among them), what impressive talent it is.
12A, 114 mins

Cassandra's Dream

Oh Woody, Woody, where did it all go wrong? Allen's Cassandra's Dream is a film so shallow you'll barely get your socks wet. It's a tale of two brothers, Ian (Ewan McGregor) and Terry (Colin Farrell), who dream of a better life and so, naturally, set out to become the worst hit-men in London. While Ian has a foxy new actress girlfriend to impress, Terry has a bit of a weakness for gambling, and they both have their wealthy, dubious uncle (Tom Wilkinson) offering them a strictly non-legit proposal to off his business rival (Phil Davis). There are some endearing moments of intimacy between the brothers, but by and large Cassandra's Dream feels as if it's struggling to tell you something terribly important that it can't quite remember - rather like a muddled drunk retelling the plots of two of Allen's earlier films, Crimes and Misdemeanours (1989) and Match Point (2005). A film only for completists, one fears.
12A, 108 mins

Iron Man

Another comic book superhero flick to add to the pile, but a welcome one nonetheless. Jon Favreau's Iron Man tells the story of Tony Stark: an engineering genius, squillionaire weapons manufacturer and international playboy who is prompted to engage his social conscience and re-evaluate the ethics of his business when he's kidnapped in Afghanistan and charged with constructing one of his own missiles for his captors. Instead, he builds a robotic armoured suit to effect a spectacular escape, and then decides to perfect this machine in order to aid mankind. It's an admirable dig at war-profiteering that boasts some great gadgetry, sparky one-liners, a restrained use of CGI and some pro performances from Robert Downey Jr (as a nicely edgy Stark), Gwyneth Paltrow (as his devoted assistant Virginia 'Pepper' Potts) and Jeff Bridges (as menacing fat cat Obadiah Stane). The plot, though, is a tad un-dynamic and lacks the dark tension needed to see us safely through to the sequel. As a result, it doesn't quite hit the spot as the Batman or Spider-Man movies do, but Marvel fans undoubtedly won't care.
12A, 126 mins

California Dreamin'

Last year at Cannes, two of the most coveted prizes went to Romanian movies - the Palme d'Or was awarded to 4 Months, 3 Weeks & 2 Days, while the Un Certain Regard prize landed in the lap of California Dreamin', Cristian Nemescu's first and only feature film (the director died two years ago in a car accident aged just 27). Set during the Kosovo war of 1999, it follows a group of US soldiers travelling with a shipment of Nato equipment who find their train journey abruptly halted in the small town of Capalnita, where the station master - seemingly a stickler for rules and regulations - actually harbours secret black market connections. Against a potentially bleak setting, Nemescu's tale is in fact a rambunctious farce. At times it proves startlingly funny, and at others provides a sad, gentle reminder of the social disarray in Eastern Europe at that time.
15, 155 mins

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Anyone pining for the rip-roaring Indy films of yore may find themselves a little disappointed by this fourth instalment, shrouded as it is with a sense of flagging enthusiasm. However, while it may seem a little short of breath at times, it still has much to offer. Nearly 20 years after his last outing, it's now 1957 and our archaeological hero Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) is attempting to locate a highly prized crystal skull before those dastardly Soviets (including the peerless Cate Blanchett as evil Russian operative Irina Spalko). Joining him are a young hopeful who might just be his son (Shia LaBeouf) and Karen Allen, who returns as his ladylove Marion Ravenwood. The film thrives when in familiar territory and only really goes awry when attempting to introduce fancy new elements - the biggest dampener being director Steven Spielberg and producer George Lucas's penchant for computer-generated foes which just can't compete with those wriggling insects and writhing snakes of the past.
12A, 124 mins

Dangerous Parking

There is a weary feeling of self-obsession about this story of young, successful independent film director Noah Arkwright (Peter Howitt, also directing) who is hellbent on living his life to the limits, with lashings of sex, drugs and booze. He is hurtling towards a very bleak end when recovering alcoholic Kirstin (Rachael Stirling) and best pal Ray (Sean Pertwee) begin to guide him back onto the right path. Then along comes sublime cellist Clare (Saffron Burrows), the greatest reason for the absorbed, destructive Noah to, you know, start taking care of himself better. Alas, cruel fate has other ideas, and when Noah discovers he has cancer he really begins to revaluate his life. Stuart Browne's novel, upon which this film is based, was a work of sensitivity and honesty. Unfortunately, the big screen adaptation seems mired in self-indulgence.
18, 109 mins

What Happens in Vegas

All the goofy, mismatched romcom pairings that Hollywood has willed to work over the last few years may now be forgiven as Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher unite to form what seems like a natural comedy dreamteam. Joy (Diaz) and Jack (Kutcher) both arrive in Vegas in a rather fragile state - she newly boyfriendless, he freshly jobless - and proceed first to get royally drunk, and second to get married, unintentionally. When Jack then wins big on the slot machines (using money lent to him by Joy) the two of them separately embark on a sequence of cunning plans and contortions in an effort to lay individual claim to the loot. Not altogether shockingly, this whole fandango leads them circuitously into one another's arms. It's froth, of course - pure sugar-whipped confection - but the plot has an appealing simplicity, Vegas is suitably bonkers, and Diaz and Kutcher really do bring a certain zing to the screen.
12A, 99 mins

Badland

Though this is an independent movie there's a sense of Hollywood schmaltz to this tale (inspired by a true story about a traumatised Iraq war veteran). Bear with it, though: it's worth it. Jerry (Jamie Draven) has served in both Gulf Wars, but is now reduced to working in the local general store and is constantly being prodded by his pregnant wife Nora (Vinessa Shaw) to stop snivelling and 'be a man'. One thoroughly anguished day, he shoots her dead and takes their 10-year-old daughter Celina (Grace Fulton) on the road, finding a job in a coffee shop that comes with the perk of having a sultry owner (Chandra West) who, when she is not seducing him, is introducing him to the local sheriff and fellow veteran Max (Joe Morton). There is plenty to feel uncomfortable about here - the over-egged score and at times simplistic characterisation - but Badland remains compelling nonetheless. This is mostly due to Draven's performance which, while dragging its feet occasionally in the accent department, is really rather stunning.
18, 160 mins

Smart People

In the hallowed halls of Carnegie Mellon University, sour, widowed college professor Lawrence Wetherhold (Dennis Quaid) has long been buried beneath the weight of Victorian literature (you can even see the man sag). But he finds himself rather pleasantly ironed out by getting frisky with former student Janet (Sarah Jessica Parker). Their involvement is the touch paper for Lawrence's highly-flammable domestic pile: his children - the magnificently devoted, thoroughly sarcastic Vanessa (Ellen Page) and the troubled, sensitive soul James (Ashton Holmes) - and his adoptive brother, Chuck (Thomas Haden Church), who is forever bucking responsibility and is currently shacked-up in the spare room. This is an impeccably drawn film, superbly scripted and gently directed. It's also required viewing for anyone who has ever set - or is even considering setting - foot in a university English department.
15, 95 mins

Caramel

Caramel is a wonderfully warm and embracing movie from Lebanese writer-director Nadine Labaki - who also plays the lead character, Layale, the owner of a Beirut beauty salon. Unmarried, she still lives at home with her parents, spurning the sweet affections of a traffic policeman in favour of a dead-end affair with a married man. But this is just one of the movie's many tales, all of which swirl around the beauty salon where, along with hair clippings, nail lacquer and the caramel wax of the title, we find divorce, marriage, the bonds of family life and the fear of ageing. It's not an especially dramatic film; rather, it's a welcoming, involving soap opera of sorts which explores the hidden lives of women.
PG, 95 mins