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Even in the smarter, more sissy gyms, you will find absurdly over-bulked weightlifters, showing off and hogging the equipment. Many of these chaps take muscle-building enzyme-flavoured milkshakes. My running partner, also quite competitive about barbells and shoulder presses, disapproves: these potions are against nature. But is there an alternative? One that might also contain the consolation of alcohol?
The obvious supplement - iron-packed Guinness - is not to his taste. Shamefully, however, Baileys is. "And," he says, "it must contain lots of calcium. Good bone-building stuff. Stands to reason." The setback, however, is that one would have to drink colossal quantities for any body-building impact. I cannot think of anyone who would stand by him in the pub as this went on.
My view is that the classic Bloody
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Mary - as well as being slightly more butch - is a more viable option. After the stress of lat-machs and reverse-flies, you can envisage it soothing the stretched muscles back into place. But again, one cannot drink too much. Otherwise one invokes dire digestive repurcussions.
Some years ago, at the height of the alcopop craze, someone invented a milkshake and vodka drink called "Moo!". If only they still made it. First, the health benefits - all those vitamins! - are pretty self-evident. Second, body-builders take themselves agonisingly seriously. Nothing will change that - but surely it would give the rest of us weaklings a rare chance to have a laugh at them. 
FIRST POSTED JANUARY 10
 Previously: girly drinks in the ring
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