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Georgia Cameron-Clarke Post-modern Manners
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The non-skiers left in London this half-term had nothing better to do than book next year's holidays. My friend is visiting acquaintances in South Africa and we are drooling with envy. "And now I want help with the children out there. How can I ask them without sounding bratty?"
We're sitting huddled on the peeling park bench waiting for the children to either die of cold or get bored with the 1960s climbing frame, whichever comes first. "Oh just ask, you wuss," our practical friend snaps, "They'll definitely know someone."
Two days later, instant messaging, I ask if she's sorted it out. "Um, I think so," she types. "???" I ask. "They said they'd ask their old au-pair to come back and look after all the kids." "Grrrrreat," I type.
Then follows a website, which of course I click on. My browser is suddenly aglow with a bikini-clad beauty plus photographs and vital statistics about this 'international model, beauty queen
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I literally laugh out loud and type three lines of ‘hahahahahahah’ at my friend’s dilemma
and spokes-model'. "That's the au pair," my friend types. "You're kidding," I reply. I literally laugh out loud and type three lines of "hahahahahahah" at my friend's dilemma.
"I just sent the link to James," she replies, "who in turn sent it to everyone in his office. They're all green with envy. He wrote back, 'Not really my type... but I'll be brave.' Am I nuts to go on holiday with a woman like this?"
I actually had to stop and think about this. "You know what?" I reply, "If you're as frazzled as me, you'd be delighted at the idea of someone else heating up the fish fingers and taking care of the kids. Hell, they can take care of my husband too as long as I can read my book uninterrupted in the sun."
"Done!!" she replies and logs off. 
FIRST POSTED FEBRUARY 16, 2007
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