gods rather than a dilemma - however, the fact you object clearly marks you out as a nice, sensitive chap, much to be prized. Tell that to the girlfriend too.

A little copulatory action encouraged by a bottle or two of Chablis is perfectly acceptable now and then, but that's exercise not intimacy. Explain that it's not unreasonable for you to want both.

She could, of course, pack her own bags in response. She may say she has met someone else and be off. But either way, your booze bills will be considerably reduced.

LULU: I am so sorry. How humiliating for you and sad for her. My view is that she probably loves you but has a bit of a problem with the bottle. Why not suggest that you both have a drink-free fortnight? Then on day three, gently seduce her over a glass of pomegranate juice.

If she rejects your advances, tactfully raise the issue the morning after. Ask her outright, has your route to the G-spot become so repetitive, irritating and fruitless, that she can't face the journey without a large glass of plonk?

Whatever you do, do not mention restricting her alcohol intake to 14 units a week - or that excessive consumption leads to a face like a ravaged beetroot. This is not helpful to your cause.

Has her career gone awry? Is