Nuff respect? Not for dads

The problem is, I've got disrespect issues," I explain to Mrs Newish Man in the aftermath of last week's bust up with the neighbours (during which, as regular readers will know, I made a hollow threat to slash their tyres).

"Respect?" She sneers. "What's so important about respect? You’re not a kid."

Well, if wanting to be treated with a modicum of respect by your friends and neighbours makes you a kid then pass the bleeding cola-cubes.

I suppose on the streets of Peckham and Brixton where young rascals are stabbing each other willy nilly, disrespect manifests itself in myriad forms. A dirty look at the bus stop; a stolen kiss with another chap's young lady round the back of KFC; an unkind remark about the jaunty angle at which a peer wears his baseball cap - these are the sort of everyday affronts that all too often seem to escalate into bloody knife-play.

In my world, of course, disrespect comes