American Gigolo to Rain Man

Now I'm married with a kid and a cat in the suburbs, my days of hell-raising singledom seem just a dim memory. I once lived in my own designer bachelor pad, slept with a different gorgeous blonde every night and chose from a selection of beautiful Armani suits every morn… oh, hang on a minute, that was Richard Gere in American Gigolo wasn't it? Damn my stupid memory! Always getting the reality of my life

muddled up with bits from Brian De Palma movies!

Anyway, the point is, it's easy for a family man to feel a bit dowdy once in a while. Which is why the occasional ego rub is so important.

Only the other day I was sat in a bar having lunch on my own when I sensed three attractive women on the next table looking at me. "Play it cool," I thought to myself. "You can't blame them for looking. Here you are, looking all sophisticated, perusing your copy of the Independent. They probably think you're reading