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friends I was expected to visit. There was the smartly turned-out elder sister, the beautiful niece about to get married, the brother who had done very well for himself, and so on and on. I found it daunting at first and wondered if I would ever remember who was who.

But it was obvious from the start that there was something rather wonderful about this way of life. Every weekend, people meet up with family and friends. They know each other's business. This can be claustrophobic, of course, but people feel they are known and supported by a large group of friendly people.

Britain used to have this. Michael Young, the remarkable man who started Which? magazine, went to working-class Bethnal Green after the Second World War to study how people lived there.

He found strongly connected extended families, just like the ones in Malta today. He found that wives would meet members of their extended families an average of 17.2 times a week. More than two-thirds of married people lived near their parents.
British people underestimate how important families and religion are to their sense of well-being

People spoke about having family get-togethers every Saturday night. He noted what a happy, vibrant community it was.

Why is that kind of life so much rarer now in Britain?

People travel further to take up jobs. The welfare state has undermined the need that existed for centuries for people to rely on the "welfare family". But whatever the fundamental causes, many British people have come to underestimate how important families (and, to a lesser extent, communities and religion) are to their sense of security and well-being.

We should learn from Malta. We should take account of where family members live when we choose where to rent or buy. We should try to meet up regularly. We might then get to feel part of an extended group, not mere atoms dashing about meaninglessly.

FIRST POSTED JANUARY 9

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