Narcissistic obsessions killed the Man in the Mirror

Whether or not drugs were involved, it was Michael Jackson’s obsession with his appearance that ultimately killed him

FIRST POSTED JUNE 29, 2009

Surrounded by his entourage of "enablers" in his hospital bed in the UCLA Medical Centre, Michael Jackson died last Friday with his music playing and "bouncing off the walls". Jackson was to the end a performer, transfixed with seeing himself and hearing himself, with being seen and being heard, searching for the public limelight and for the reassurance of being loved by all.

One nine-year-old boy, in tears when he heard of Jackson's death, explained that he was crying because no one stopped Michael Jackson from continuing to have plastic surgery and this is what killed him. In some important respect this is true.

Although it is alleged that Jackson died of his addiction to Demerol and the cocktail of painkillers he took regularly, his obsession with his image drove him to extremes of medical intervention. If anyone had tried to stop Jackson from further plastic surgery or another round of prescriptions for pain relievers, they had clearly failed to be heard.

Like Narcissus looking longingly into the pool at his reflection, Jackson could only see his own image in the eyes of others. The reflected image, however, can never reach out and make the viewer feel wanted, it can never have a life of its own, it can never give the love of another.

Jackson’s attempt to obtain love from the reflected pool of an audience failed

According to Ovid's story of Narcissus, the river god, Cephisus, seduced the nymph, Leirope, who gave birth to the beautiful Narcissus. Concerned about his future, Leirope was told by Teiresias that he would come to no harm as long as he did not know himself.

By the age of 16 Narcissus arrogantly spurns the advances of numerous suitors, including the nymph Echo who cannot address him directly but can only repeat what he says. Pining for his love, Echo is heartbroken and wastes away until only her voice remains.

Aware of her suffering, the god Nemesis condemns Narcissus to a similar fate of unrequited love. Coming upon a pool of water, the thirsty Narcissus drinks, falls in love with his reflection and, unable to bear the pain of not being responded to, kills himself.

Tragically, Jackson's life imitated myth. His striving to obtain love from the reflected pool of an anonymous audience was doomed to fail. Just as there was no real person who could reflect reality back to Narcissus and rescue him from his unrequited love there was no concerned father who could provide a mirror for Jackson's self-destructive behaviour and stop him from killing himself.

Unlike Narcissus, Jackson's father, a failed rhythm 'n' blues singer, was very much in evidence. His mother, who suffered from polio-related disabilities throughout her life, was also musical. However, it was Joe, the father, who was determined - out of his own narcissistic failure - to transform their five boys into star performers and Michael, the youngest and most talented, stole the show from the age of six.

Like many parents of star performers, Joe Jackson brutalised his children by imposing exhausting work schedules and sadistically bullying them into perfecting their

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That's your opinion... I respect it but can't agree with it though!

Posted by Dorisandro at 4:50pm on June 30, 2009

Actually if you do some research on Narcissism, Joe was a textbook Narcissist. Michael was emotionally and mentally enmeshed throughout his life, and while he had Narcissistic tendencies and some ego, he was far from Narcissistic. I think if anything, the world outpouring proves he was adored and approved of by his fans. He was a huge and giving humanitarian, something the press failed gravely to report on. He had a skin disease and lupus. His plastic surgeries, however many he had, were most likely related to his disapproval of himself. While kids at the age of five were playing tag and hide and seek, he was performing in clubs. The stage was his base of identity, and approval. He suffered horrible verbal abuse, was called ugly, his nose made fun of. On top of mental and physical abuse. He's stated all he wanted was his Father's love and approval, and never got it. Michael was a "mirror", a "product" to his Father. I'm on the fence of whether he was a scapegoat or Golden Child. Look up Adult Children of Narcissists. You'll find Michael. Quit looking on the outside. Michael is a rarity of the heart.

Posted by Gracie Mae at 10:39am on July 1, 2009

Michael never had a real life. His life is a testament to what child abuse does to children and how it can affect them the rest of their lives. Joe should be brought up on charges for what he did to Michael-other parents have been when the child becomes adult. Michael needed serious counseling. If I had realized sooner I would have written to him, or tried. He and Diana had a lot in common, both went to the public realm seeking the love and adoration lacking in their lives. His life is sad, and it is going to be sad how it will be disected publicly. His children need protecting from his sicko family. I don't trust his Mother any more than I trust his demented father. His father used those kids as income until they could break away, Michael thankfully did, however he spent his life trying to "look different" than his father, explaining the surguries-I am not like you!! I wish he could have gotten the help he needed. Being in the public eye it would have been hard, and of course the press would never give him a break. I am so sorry he is gone, although considering he had lupus it was always a time game. When? Males also can get lupus and considering how the news media liked to attack him it would have been degraded and made fun of. I don't understand why the media has always made fun of him? He is and was a Superstar in his own right. He deserved respect, not ridicule. It shows the power of the media, even though his music sales told a different story. It is perverted that his demented father felt the need to call in a couple of old dinosaurs-Jackson and Sharpton. No one is interested in them. It would be an insult to what Michael stood for, unity of all humanity and love, to have them speak at his funeral. If they are on I will not listen to them as their drivel is out of date. We know his importance in breaking down the race barrier, however if you notice his kids are white. He was everything to alot of peoples of the world. I am sorry he is gone. I am sure he is watching us from the other side astounded at all the love we did have for him, all he had to do was reach out, it was always there. "Would someone please dim the lights, a great act (and man) has left the worlds stage" )O(

Posted by Carrie at 12:40pm on July 1, 2009

Also, I do hope Mark Lester can get custody of his children. As their Godfather he should be given the right, after all why have godparents? They need a break from the circus of that family. Let's hope his estate is protected. The justice and legal community need to do right by him for a change...and so does the media. These articles are sorry to read. Michael had the right to live his life the way he wanted, and did. Who would have wanted to trade places with him. Although I personally would have sued my father for the abuse I received as a child, and publicly condemned him for it. I am surprised none of his siblings have done this. He may have made peace with his Mother, she is still not the best thing for his children.

Posted by Carrie at 12:44pm on July 1, 2009

Michael Jackson was by any judgement a special human being, some of the so called "weirdness" is an easy word for a dystopian world and it's subjects. His genius came with a price which laymen cannot begin to understand, the physical abuse from his father to a wonderfully gifted young boy is unforgivable and left him psychologically scarred throughout his life! The drugs were a 'cry for help' to alleviate his physical and emotional pain! We should not condemn him but should understand, there are many things we can all learn from Michael but history tell us we won't! In a world inhabited by nonentities we can ill afford to lose his genius and human qualities. The world is poorer for his passing!

Posted by rogeruk at 2:11am on July 5, 2009

Well said Gracie Mae. I believe what you say wholeheartedly.

Posted by Tracie Richardson at 1:50pm on July 9, 2009

I truly believe that if the media hadnt hounded Michael Jackson, he would still be with us today. I was a huge fan of his during the 80s and part of the 90s (basically until Id outgrown that level of fandom) and everyday at school and college, people would give me newspaper clippings about MJ some from UK, some from imported mags. I saw the media change almost overnight. He was saying that he didnt want to give interviews because he was tired of being mis-quoted and he went from being portrayed as a sensitive and shy enigma to Wacko Jacko wearing masks, sleeping in oxygen chambers, and having extensive plastic surgery. And Im ashamed to say it came from the British tabloids (the sniggering schoolboys that they are). I feel that if that hadnt happened and if the public hadnt been so happy to join in kicking him, then individuals wouldnt have felt there was enough public support to take him to court with false allegations, and he wouldnt have spent the rest of his final years defending himself over and over again. Since his death, Ive been looking at some of the coverage Ive missed over the last decade. What a horrible way to live. Im surprised he made it this far. Once you call someone mad, you can get away with saying pretty much anything about them and people will think at the very least, Hmm, well maybe. I mean he is crazy after all. Im really pleased to see here that there are some people who are questioning what they told and not just engaging in some bizarre public execution.

Posted by gojogo at 2:32pm on July 11, 2009