I had previously reported as brandishing a loaded ball bearing gun at a baby.

I'm a proud Cornishman, born and bred, but villages like St Day are an embarrassment - unnecessarily, pointlessly brutal.

Now, thank goodness, I am no longer trapped in a village intoxicated with hatred, so this is the last report from me as a resident. If further information on Cornish village life is really needed, then watch the movie Straw Dogs. It's an accurate portrayal in a very real and physical sense.

From my quiet, leafy Cornish city suburb: good riddance, St Day.