Baroness Howe’s prescription for our troubled youths shows she’s out of touch, says a s h smyth |
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Baroness Howe's suggestion that yobs "be encouraged to take up bridge, gardening and Egyptology" is obviously the single most brilliant social policy recommendation for decades. I know nothing of bridge or gardening, but as a reformed Egyptologist I can easily see the profound 'relevance' of that noble subject to the youth of today.
After all, what could more 'accessible' to troubled teenagers than a subject which teaches that bread is essentially just a solid form of beer; that everyone from the gods on down is entitled to have sex with their blood relatives; and that their graffiti (sorry, Banksy: 'social commentary') might actually end up in a museum if it only depicts the queen being, er, ministered to by her ministers?
Similarly, if you want to distract the nation's delinquents from taking drugs and pissing on
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| How many dole- cheques does it take to buy a hieroglyphic dictionary? |
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cars of an evening, the Egyptological literature on penis sheaths, brawling with dirty foreigners, and spurious tales of physical prowess ought to go down a treat.
That said - and call me a cynic - I can see one or two problems with Baroness Howe's proposal, as reported in the Sunday papers.
Though she is a People's Peer (chosen, ostensibly, on her merits), her suggestion suggests a somewhat head-in-the-clouds approach to social realities. Which Oxbridge professor is going to want to address a roomful of whey-faced hoodies? How many dole cheques does it take to buy a hieroglyphic dictionary? You get the point.
On the whole, perhaps it might be smarter to start with the Three Rs (or the gardening, I suppose), and then move on to the grown-up topics as and when.
Still, if Baroness Howe knows a method for sneaking a packet of ciggies and a three-litre bottle of Strongbow past the Bodleian librarian, well, I'm all ears. Meanwhile, I shall be re-reading my astrological papyri for clues as to which planet the Baroness is on. 
FIRST POSTED JULY 30, 2007
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