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The Wilf on Friday
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First Posted noon November30,0001

links@lunch

world-clock.org
Where's the time?

dcsv.co.uk/randomart
Pictures at an exhibition.

ibootsale.co.uk
In a virtual field near you.

WikiDic

school (n): i) establishment that takes in children at 11 with a reading age of six, and releases them at 16 with a reading age of seven; ii) safe-house for persons on sex offenders' register.

NEXT WEEK'S NEWS

Monday 

The picture shown to the de Menezes jury - said to have been manipulated and stretched - is found to be an original photo of Anne Robinson.

Wednesday 

A vote by BBC union members to strike over the forthcoming cuts is ruled invalid after it is learned that the ballot was a conducted by phone-in.

Friday 

Asked why the UK has staked a claim to the most inhospitable place on Earth, Foreign Office officials explain it was a choice between the Antarctic and the Isle of Man.

BOOM BOOMConscious of its responsibility to the planet, The Wilf is committed to recycling in a very real sense. We do our best to ensure our jokes have already been used elsewhere - but if you do find an original item in this selection, please inform the help desk, so that we can take the necessary action.

Adam asks God for a mate. God says: "You shall have the loveliest of companions - woman. She will be pretty, clever and kind. She will cook for you, clean for you, take care of your every need. She will give a life of undiluted pleasure." "Sounds good," says Adam. "What do I have to do to get her?" "You must give up an arm, a leg, a kidney, a rib and your left eye." Adam thinks for a bit then says: "And what do I get for just a rib?"

Q: Why do women close their eyes when making love?
A. Because they can't stand to see a man having a good time.

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