At school, I wasn't sporty. In the first place, it wasn't cool; in the second place, I was naturally indolent; and in the third place, being short-sighted and too vain to wear glasses rendered all games except those with the very largest balls beyond my ken. Netball was just about do-able, I suppose rugby might have been, had we played it, but tennis, and lacrosse, with those titchy little things? Forget it.

In the past couple of years, however, I have become a jogging nerd and can now bore for England on the subject. Of a morning, you'll find me running around Greenwich Park with my iPod; and the way the lorry drivers slow down to take a good long hard look when I cross the road sets me up for the day. In fact all was going