PJ O’Rourke laughs off cancer

Given the current turmoil in the markets, not to mention the panic among Americans, many must be wondering what take PJ O'Rourke (pictured), the right-wing free-market ideologue and satirist, has on events. These will no doubt come soon enough, but for now his main pre-occupation is a personal battle with cancer, as he reveals in a column for the Los Angeles Times.

The good news is that the cancer, which has effected his colon, has been detected early, and 60-year-old O'Rourke believes he has a high chance of survival. He writes: "I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? . . .I looked death in the face. All right, I didn't. I glimpsed him in a crowd. I've been diagnosed with cancer, of a very treatable kind. I'm told I have a 95 per cent chance of survival. Come to think of it — as a drinking, smoking, saturated-fat hound — my chance of survival has been improved by cancer."

The author of such classics as Republican Party Reptile and Holidays in Hell, adds: "Furthermore, I am a logical, sensible, pragmatic Republican, and my diagnosis came just weeks after Teddy Kennedy's. That he should have cancer of the brain, and I should have cancer of the ass ... well, I'll say a rosary for him and hope he has a laugh at me. After all, what would I do, ask God for a more dignified cancer? If you can't laugh in the face of certain disaster, you're not a Christian."