Not even Depardieu can save Asterix now

The great Gerard Depardieu is not used to being jeered when a new film of his opens. But that's what happened at this week's premiere of Asterix aux Jeux Olympiques - Asterix at the Olympic Games - which, having cost €78m to make and €22m to publicise, is France's most expensive film ever. Despite Depardieu reprising his role as Obelix, and the popular French actor Clovis Cornillac as Asterix, and cameo performances from Zinedine Zidane and Michael Schumacher, the film has been universally derided.

Its Paris premiere was greeted with jeers while the nation's film critics have panned it. "A vacuous gigantic stewpot," sniffed Le Monde, while the tabloid Parisian described it as "anaemic [and] tepid with no ideas". France Soir called it "a classic turkey".

It's serious because the film was intended to be a cash-cow for the French cinema, which relies on blockbusters to fill cinemas, from where 11 per cent of the ticket price is funnelled back into the national film industry. Normally, those blockbusters are American. The plan was to make a fortune with a French film for a change - and it appears to have backfired.

The film is the third live-action adaptation made from the famous comic books which chronicle the adventures of the plucky Gaullish villager. But in contrast to the original two films, directed by Alain Chabat and produced by the venerable Claude Berri, the new movie, from producer Thomas Langmann, has watered down the subversive spirit of the French comedy in favour of something more bland that would play well not just in France but Europe-wide.

Langmann even cast stars from Asterix-loving countries like Belgium and Slovenia to boost the film's appeal. "The film has been made for audiences ranging from the Spanish coast to the Urals, passing through the Acropolis," said French Catholic newspaper La Croix. "The result is a flat dialogue, jokes which are barely funny and a sluggish pace."

With the film opening this week in 6,000 cinemas across Europe - only one of them in Britain, thank heavens - Langmann has been defending his pan-European ambition, in spite of the dire reviews. "Either you talk to 60m people in France or to a 300m potential audience in Europe," Langmann said. "I chose the second option. That's why we included parodies of Russell Crowe's Troy and of Star Wars in the script." Keen movie fans will note that Crowe was never in Troy.